Mostrando postagens com marcador English. Mostrar todas as postagens
Mostrando postagens com marcador English. Mostrar todas as postagens

quinta-feira, 27 de setembro de 2018

Take me back

I cautght you staring me, following my pain in this dawn. As the first time, I thought you wasn't dangerous... Damn it! For godsake, I'm bloody ashamed about myself. I was not capable to see the darkness inside your false bright.

Your life was worthless, you made me homeless, take away the bit of peace that I hardly made.Your mind was closed like a little tiny box, you tried trapped me like your wanted little toys. I don't know what I saw beyond your fucking noises. I should've been crazy in my olds.

Brown hair. Lost eyes. little feet. smoth voice. I don't know what I saw, now I'm sure that wasn't you. That shyning girl could not ruin my life like that, It was not even rainning.Your egoism don't let me get my 30s.

If I could I'd come back and forgot to call you a second time... Damn it! Pal, I didn't know you were so patheric. Tell me, what crossed your mind, an once upon a time? 
- Deep inside you knew she would ruin your no wanted life.

Just when I thought my life would make any sense you came with that fuck nosense. You were a liar, made me feel special to fuck with and with me. That song never made more sense, everything I wish is: taking back to the night we met.

quarta-feira, 20 de junho de 2018

With her

 She is water in my head
Dripping dirty words in my ears
Stoping all my breath 
while our mouths meet

She was just a little kid
I used to remember our first kiss
Now, she is sucking my lips
I can't say bad words about her skill

She is a wise woman
We belong together
I was beating up by her bullet

She was a funny girl
I always seemed as Amenadiel
That stupid guy from the beginning of that TV show 

She is not mine
I can't own something alive
Just stay by her side 
Could you imagine another luckiest guy? 

She is unfortunately sinking 
I had told her to take care herself with that water 
I was without air
So I decided to make her stop breathing too

Now she is dead
Now I'm dead
We're dead
But still together, we belong together

She is water in my head
I'm sinking 
No breathing
But we're still kissing 

segunda-feira, 18 de junho de 2018

Countless reason why

A long time ago I started trying to write here using the little English that I got, today I will write down a little bit about what is happening in my life. You have been asking why should you read this short text with a lot of mistakes of grammar, and I am afraid to tell you there is not reason to read. But if you still are there, I have to tell you a second thing, I would like if you read this listening 'Timber a chill mix for 2016', I am doing the same now and it will conect us more than just by my simple words.

Is it good, do not you think? Me too. So, let is start my monolog. If you know me properly maybe we had discussed about have a baby and you know that I never wanted to be a father. Well, it will become true in some months! I failed with myself when I said I would never become a father. Please do not tell me anything about plane's God or another bullshit like that, please just don't okay. You problably are thinking why is it something important to me and I will explain the whole thing then.

Since I was a little kid and can remain I am a weird person. Some peculiar (Anything like Mr. Grey, do not get me wrong. hahaha), I still am someone who did not find a motive to breath every day. How can I bring to this empty world another human who problably will feel the same way? Do you think is it fair with him/her? What may I be able to teach him/her if neither I like to live nor dicovered my place in the world yet. I am terrified with the whole ideia.

Someone ask me by message, why I am not posting anything here anymore. Here is the answer, I am scared, totally terrify if will I be able to be a good dad for this child. I do not even like kids, how would it be possible? Out of sudden, like a swicth in my mind, will I start to like child? I really hope so. I will not forgive myself if something bad happens with this kid. Now I understand when parents says they would kill to protect their children (I don't really need a reason, though). I even do not know the reason why... Could you explain me? 

segunda-feira, 30 de outubro de 2017

From vacation to reality

The noise on the roof is like an orchestra. The wind is dancing among the trees, shaking their leaves. From here, I can hear many animals. This place is very quiet, but it has many songs, though. If I was in the town, I'd be able to listen to the traffic, a lot of people around walking by, maybe one or other plane crossing the sky, music comes from vehicles (a kind of noises that you probably wouldn't like to hear in your time off). In the other hand, where I am now, as I said, is a quiet place.

From here, you could see trees. All sort of trees. Flowers, fruits, green. Meanwhile, you could watch birds flying away. Above them, a grey-blue sky letting clouds stay with some part of the scenery. At the first time, I drow up my eyes on this landscape, I thought I won't like to stay around for many days, can you believe that?

Today, I can appreciate what is rest. I was exhausted, now I'm retired with colleagues and realized what is the rural's life, the pleasure to talk with unknown people whose ever are able to start a conversation, they really are kind of talkative people.

Everything here is totally different to my mother town. People, even rich ones, are so nice. I mean, everyone, rich or poor, they are kind! They're always trying to amuse you, do you know what I mean? They spend their times just hanging out among the trees, talking each other, eating delicious rural's food. It's here is really a nice lifestyle.

...

I'm back to my home. When I was coming, before turned to my corner I could hear that loud music that I told you before. My neighbours really like funk. I'm not going to say that I don't like funk or never had listened to it in some party, you know... I'm a Brazillian guy, it would be impossible. I just think it's not a sort of songs that I usually would hear at home. By the way, I hope you catch what I'm speaking of.

When you spend some time away from your home, you come back with some expectation of something new had changed when you were far. I came home and started to look for someone to talk about my little trip and someone who is willing to tell me what I lose on my time off. Then, I logged out in my page on Instagram to post my photos that I took at Codisburgo/MG. That was a really good travel. I hope to be able to return there someday. 

Finally, you realize that I've said nothing that you really care about. You realized you lost your time reading this short text... Do you know why? It's because I told you something that happened with me at somewhere in some time ago. Did you catch that? There was nothing too special in everything I said above, it's just telling of a guys' vacation. Life is that simple. Life is none further this... We live and want to tell to someone what we experienced.

Sitting on the bed I end this little text. It's so quiet indoors, but there are many people watching soccer on the screen. It's sunday. There are people in the bar playing songs, talk out loud and drinking a lot of kind of alcohol. If I would have in a rural place I'd be able to listen to the animals, trees shaking under the wind. I probably would have been bitten by many mosquitos, though.

domingo, 8 de outubro de 2017

Empty

Sit on this black chair, looking for some reason to continue with my life, I started this simple text. Okay, lets me explain to you, I don't want to die anymore, I already fixed this subject. I just put it off, but fortunately or unfortunately I cannot find a single reason to stay alive, though. Do you know? There isn't a motive to move on. Whether you really think about the life you'll arrive at the same point that I am now: Life is empty.

Could you answer what is the fuck reason are we here? I doubt it. An empty world with seven billion lives, did it makes sense for you? Everybody pretends don't really care about that, put them busy all the time. I can't-do the same. Why do I think so much about this stuff? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you? Seriously, don't you see what I mean? I don't think so. When I talk with someone else about that they realise how much empty they are too, and totally agree with me saying: I don't know, I just pretend.

As I saw in somewhere, "I write because you exist" and I complete this sentence with "even if I don't know why". Anyone does. Life is amazing though, don't think? I mean, we don't know anything about that but we enjoy to live. Beautiful places, poetry/literature, music, people, all kind of emotion and many other things make it enjoyable, I could say it's interesting. Every moment is unique.

Even though, I would like to know why we are here. Is there some reason? Please, tell me the answers to all these questions that horsing around us. Something willing to help me get up from that chair and go to the bed. A long time I don't sleep very well and I really need to hit the sack, even if I won't wake up anymore. In a way, I guess that if I sleep forever by now, it could save my illness mind from this madness known as life.

sábado, 19 de agosto de 2017

Why not?

As the mean of dord, I'm back. Writing for you what I can't bear in my mind anymore. Even if you're a native speaker, perhaps you don't know what I was trying to say in my first sentence. So, let me explain. Dord is a word known as a "ghost word", from 1932 to 1940 there was a dictionary that had this word without any meaningful, can you believe? It's a kind of type error, or something like that. Interesting, huh.

Probably you're thinking two things in this moment. "What hell is he talking about?" Further to "Why sort of person knows these kind of things?". Allows me answer both. To be honest, I don't know why I'm sharing it with you. Public utility, guess. I have learned this, just few minutes before I decided to write it. I was googling, as ever, horsing around how to improve and practice my English skills when I started to read that article by Bilingua Community, where was telling this for everyone who would want to read. Then, as I told you before, I don't know why I began to write all this. I mean, I know, obviously I only wanted to write a little, just put it out theses words to practice my writing tonight. I don't really know why I resolved speaking of the "ghost word". Perhaps because I'm a ghost in my own blog.

Well, concluding all this. Please, take it easy of all possible errors, like I said and you could have seen through this short text, I'm not a native speaker. Feel free to correct me, I'll be really glad whether you'd willing to do it. I have made and posted others texts here, I hope I had boosted my skills since there. As I said, I'm back and now, unfortunately or not, in English.

quinta-feira, 3 de dezembro de 2015

My metanoia

I’m here in delegacy police. My day starts this way! That beautiful girl I told to you about her before, is with me. She’s sister of my girlfriend and it’s strange!

Time ago I used to like her. Not as a sort of girlfriend, I just wanted be with her – in a bed. Whatever, today I’ve another wonder about her. Beforetime, when I started my relationship I was a jerk (I’m sorry for expression)! Today I’m doing things yet, but I turn another kind of jerk.

My girlfriend, she’s amazing! Today I can see that. As I said up-lines, I didn’t give to her the respect she merited that time. I’ll not apologize and don’t wanna do it. What I did in the pass I can’t change it anymore – I only will not permit it happens again.Then I’ll be a motherfucker if I still to want to ask her pardon.

I’m a luck man, I have a wonderful family, parents , friends, “brows” and angels to hand me a support in this journey.I’m grateful with the Universe about these good spirits around me!

Like the R.E.M in Losing My Religion: “I think I said to much”. So I will stop here! Thanks for read my simple text, please hand me ideas for the next and give me opinions about this text. See you!


XOXO

terça-feira, 3 de novembro de 2015

I always feel like the first time

    She's hating me because I'm smoking. I'm not a smoker, but tonight I just did this.The light above me is shining like a fire in my hands. The Moon.


    I eat, I drink, I drive, I'm in love for her. Everyday I say and show it to her, but she does not believe me anymore.



    Yeah, I'm angry right now! That's the reason that I'm smoking. It is a normal cigarette. Nothing about her. I'm unlike tonight for a personal motive: that desire to do something to help someone, but for some big reason I can't do.



   Listening NickelBack and thinking about life. I know, I'm just vainly trying to forget my troubles like everyone would in my situation - I guess.



   I need more fire! Dressed a shirt from Rolling Stones, a hat like blues' guys and Havaianas in foot.



   Everything is confuse, I know! But in life what isn't confuse? I Just know that I love her. Brunette. Black eyes. Beauty as a star shining over me right now. Wonderful body. A little bit of troublemaker... that kinda right one, do you know?! But I love.




[J.L.Silva (31/10/15) 2:00a.m]

sexta-feira, 23 de outubro de 2015

Her


  Time ago, I wanted starting to write texts in english, but I was afraid of make mistakes. Then, I let this disare goes away... Today, in middle at the night that disare returns and I am here to talk with you. I don't know why, but I'm here.
     


  This silence don't let me sleep. I'm not tired, tonight I am like a fire! I feel like I can do anything I want, but I can't. My wife is sleeping now, if I start to run inside the house, for instance, she'll not like me anymore and I don't wanna live alone (smile), Then, I'm here talking with you but in silent.
     


  Light from kitchen is helping me see the paper. A pen and one paper. My black backpack looks me strange. A knife is close of me because the door is open. I'm naked 'cause I'm in home. My living-room is quiet. That photography over the computer fixed on the wall is looking to me.
   
  I'm thinking about her... She's my award, I'm not a good guy, but she loves me anyway. That brunette makes me crazy! I'm tell to you a short story: I knew her a long time ago, she was beautiful in the fist time I put my eyes at her and continue with the same beauty. It's hard talk about something else. Maybe 60% of my texts is about her. So I can feel that I am in love, again.

Só sobreviver

Existe um tipo de cansaço que não se explica. Não é o cansaço do corpo depois de um dia longo, nem o sono acumulado de noites mal dormidas. ...